“That is my greatest fear. That if, I lost control or did not have control … Things would just, you know, it would be fatal.”
Oftentimes when you hear or think about the word control it is looked at as something negative. I guess it depends on how you view things in life. Many may think that control is taking from someone or something but control is so much more than that. Control to me is taking back the power in your life. Control is being in charge of your own happiness and destiny. Control is standing up for what you believe in and demanding respect. Control is also being confident in owning your vulnerability.
When we go through hard times in life it is so easy for us to blame the next person for what we believe they’ve done to us. But do we ever stop and think that we are the ones that allowed them to do so? Now, this may not apply in all situations but most of the time we give people the green light to doing us wrong. Failing to confront a situation or person leads them to believing that you are accepting their actions and the situation. The control comes into play when you toughen up and say how you feel and take responsibility for what YOU allowed.
When listening to Sza’s debut album Ctrl, I became more in tune with how I was using and releasing my control. Sza spoke about the confidence and power she has in her life and also about her insecurities and flaws. She even talked about her fear in not having or losing control. All of these emotions she shared are things that everyone thinks about think about all of the time. We are afraid of not having our lives perfectly figured out. We are afraid of not knowing where our lives will take us next. We can talk all day about being powerful and strong but sometimes our pride takes us away from being vulnerable and admitting when we need help or feel hopeless. In my family I’ve always been surrounded by strong hardworking women that had no time to spend on complaining or feeling sad for their selves. They had to get up and take care of their responsibilities. Ctrl showed me that it is okay to let your guard down and that there is beauty is vulnerability. It is okay to feel or be weak. That weakness doesn’t define who you are as a person. It is just something that you are going through and that you will get through. It is okay to cry, it is okay to be depressed. It is okay to be insecure about your body or the way you look. It is all okay!! WE ARE ONLY HUMAN! Every day will not be perfect. Even when you make it to where you want in life you will still have bad days. It is up to you to determine your happiness. Remember that control comes from within OWN IT!!
"And if it's an illusion, I don't want to wake up. I'm gonna hang on to it. Because the alternative is an abyss, is just a hole, a darkness, a nothingness. Who wants that? You know? So that's what I think about CTRL, and that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it."
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